Total Recall: An Elementary and Culinary Guide to Not Fretting about the Remake

Why an Elementary and Culinary Guide to Total Recall?

The genesis of the piece was as simple as the first paragraph suggests:

“Like many, when the pre-trailer trailer of the new Total Recall was released I was incensed.”

I loved the original for reasons that only someone who has ever been deeply in love with a B-grade movie can understand. I wanted to properly know that feeling though, so I went about trying to work it out in the best way I know how – writing things down.

Arnie in Total Recall: “an enormous body builder with muscles that look like they belong on the cover of an Italiano staliano romance, not a construction site, acting (it hurts me to say this) pretty appallingly, and mucking about with a jackhammer – probably on a piece of painted foam.”

I had NO IDEA it would take the culinary and elementary bend. I remember thinking it was coming out weird, but I was enjoying writing it so much I couldn’t stop.

Finding someone who would be willing to publish something this absurd was hard, but the good people of Trebuchet Magazine loved it and came to the rescue. Unfortunately lots of the comments were lost when they changed their commenting system: the best was a suggestion for it to be called TOFU RECALL – right on pjgrvstck!

Read the article:

Read Total Recall: An Elementary and Culinary Guide to Not Fretting about the Remake as published by Trebuchet Magazine on 26 June 2012.


Read the Original Version on this site with the culinary and elementary parts bolded, as I originally intended.